Dante Alighieri’s Inferno begins with this scene:

Midway through his life, he finds himself lost in a dark forest (la selva oscura), having strayed from the “straight path” of righteousness. The forest is dense, terrifying, disorienting, and an allegory for spiritual crisis.

As he attempts to escape, he sees a sunlit hill (salvation, basically), but his way is blocked by three beasts: a leopard (representing lust and deceit), a lion (representing pride and ambition), and a she-wolf (representing greed and despair).

These beastly creatures force him back, deeper into the forest, deepening his sense that he cannot escape his misery on his own. But just as he’s losing hope, enter the ghost of poet Virgil, offering guidance. Virgil tells Dante, the only way forward is first through Hell (Inferno), then Purgatory, and ultimately Heaven, where he will finally find redemption. Dante, placing his trust in Virgil, follows him into the depths of Inferno, and thence marks the beginning of his transformative journey.

Dante’s message, you ask?

Spiritual awakening requires facing the darkness first.

HELLO MIDLIFE, YOU’VE CAUGHT ME MID-LAUGH.

Something’s been off. Why—with all the boxes I’ve checked, all the life experience I have, and all the tools and wisdom I’ve gathered over my 46 years—do I feel frustration, a drift, a sudden rebellion against it all? 

Simple. I’m deep in Dante’s Inferno.

According to Robert A. Johnson, the echo of such lamentations, regrets, missed opportunities, and lost experiences is enough to convince anyone to make a survey of what he calls their ”unlived life.”

“We can hear the distant drum beat of unlived life in the mutterings that go on in the back of our heads: ‘woulda-coulda-shoulda.’ Those late night longings, the unexpected grief that arises seemingly outta nowhere… We all carry with us a vast inventory of abandoned, unrealized and underdeveloped talent and potential.”

At midlife, we’re unexpectedly summoned to give attention to the fullness of who we are, to step into a deeper, more integrated existence. At first, we may respond subconsciously by shifting our external circumstances—changing jobs, moving, getting a facelift, taking up a new hobby—anything to shift our surroundings. But actually, the divide our subconscious seeks to bridge lies within. All the things we’ve accumulated and accomplished—suddenly, strangely—are no longer absolutes, but pieces of a larger, deeper whole.

“In order to be complete human beings we need to recognize that we have an ego which directs our earthly responsibilities, but also within us is the spark of something godlike.” 

Turns out there are two forces within us—one earthly, one ethereal—longing to reunite, as they once did in childhood. This is the tension between the material world and humankind’s innate pull toward something higher—that noble, idealistic refuge, that spiritual home many find in religion or private meditation. 

Midlife, we come face-to-face with our lost other half—the living embodiment of our life “unlived.” We realize a part of us clings to the safety and comfort of what’s known, while another pulls us towards something more ecstatic—for a transcendence—to discover more of ourselves. 

Another way to see it is that the earthly part of ourselves has lived life from the outside in. While the ethereal or more godlike part of ourselves now has the opportunity to live life from the inside out. 

And so, we might find ourselves midlife mid-laugh AND REAL SHOOK UP, in which it may behoove ourselves to take a few moments to ask:

-Which inner voice in me wants to be heard and is causing trouble? Which is making me anxious, depressed, dissatisfied or fearful?

-Do I express myself to please others or to be my natural self?

-What am I discovering today within myself and what turns do I want to take today? 

-What doors do I want to open within and for myself? 

–What talents still remain tucked away, waiting to come out?

“It is a truth that anything undertaken on the face of the Earth tangles us in the field of time. For example, when you marry, you have set aside entire blocks of your life. For most of us this includes getting up in the morning to keep a paycheck coming, 4 AM feedings of infants, time spent transporting the children to and from school, doctor appointments, sports practice, and play dates. When midlife comes, most contemporary people begin to have thoughts of extricating themselves from this jail of time that they have worked so hard to build. The primary issues revolve around not having enough free moments.”

Aging, we encounter inevitable physical, emotional, existential limits—betrayals of our body, the loss of parents and friends, an overwhelm of responsibilities, and perhaps the fading off of once-bright dreams. Time no longer feels infinite. And we look at our lives—our marriage, children, career, obligations—and we feel somewhat… caged.

In order to climb the sunlit hill, Dante had to face his fears, his deeper longings. Likewise, we can’t reach fulfillment without first confronting our unfulfilled selves. Dante had Virgil to guide him. But, I ask, who or what is calling us forward?

Perhaps these exercises can help:

1.Balancing Opposites: Think of two parts of your life that seem to pull in different directions, like work vs. play. Sketch or list them out, then consider ways to bring more balance between the two.

2.Reflective Questions: Ask yourself simple but revealing questions like, “What dreams or interests have I put on hold?” Write freely without overthinking. Just let the thoughts flow.

3.Imagination Exercise: Take a quiet moment to picture a recent dream or strong emotion. Jot down everything that comes up.

4.Dream Journal: Write down dreams as soon as you wake up. Look for patterns or recurring themes. They might reveal something important.

By engaging in these exercises, we can begin to uncover and embrace the unlived aspects of ourselves, and move forward with greater strength into the second half of life. And by entertaining the contradictory energies within us using an active imagination and dialogue with those voices/energies, our lived and unlived qualities can become synergistic rather than antagonistic.

📞 Will you answer the call?