I. MAKE THE ORDINARY EXTRAORDINARY

Make the usual unusual. Tint the potatoes blue or rose. Serve chips in top hats or jewelry boxes. Surprise is the social equivalent of oxygen.

II. DON’T MARTYR YOURSELF IN THE KITCHEN

Outsource. Delegate. Accept help beforehand.

(A relaxed host with olives and a beautiful tin of anchovies with buttered toast is infinitely more seductive than an exhausted one serving six courses.)

III. GUESTS ARE ROYALTY

Guests should be your King and Queen. They’ve been invited to be taken care of and to feel special. And need only bring an appetite, a good sense of humor, and their best conversational self.

Resist the well-meaning cleanup brigade that convenes in the kitchen before dessert has even settled. And tell them to Shoo.

They’re there to sit down, enjoy themselves, and not display their help with the dishes.

IV. MOOD AND LIGHTING ARE THE FIRST COURSE

Layer your antique linens from your grandmother or that trip to Venice. Fill silver ice buckets or odd little vessels with vines and flowers. Line candles down the center of the table and let wax drip irresponsibly. Dim the lights to a flattering conspiracy.

Candlelight is not decoration; it’s diplomacy.

V. GIVE PEOPLE A STORY

Plastic butterflies feeding from flowers. Dripping candelabras. Shrimp towers worthy of Dalí. Tiny sandwiches skewered with feathers. Pears painted gold. Unexpected objects that make people stop mid-sentence and ask:

“Wait… what is that?”