The Guardian is calling it a “global dating crisis.” The Times just reported that a third of British 18 to 29 year olds have never been in a relationship. And last year, The Economist called it a “relationship recession.”

What is happening to us? One year ago, The Economist pointed to a world in which singlehood was rising, marriage was declining, fertility rates were falling and more people were living alone or opting out of relationships altogether.

Thanks to dating apps, courtship has turned into swiping, people have turned into profiles, and romance has become transactional. They give infinite choice, but all that choice has made real connection hard.

But is it a question of choice?

Swipe culture has been not only teaching us we can easily dispose of people, but that we should accept being disposable ourselves. Ghost. Block. Unmatch. Next.

And we are more connected than any generation in history and yet, so many of us are feeling alone.

We can almost reach anyone, anytime. We can see where they went on vacation, what they ate for lunch, what they wore last night and what their kitchen renovation looks like. But that’s not the same thing as knowing them. Attention has become the new attraction.

Maybe this isn’t just a relationship recession. Maybe it’s a recession from meaning, courage, presence, patience, humility, attention, curiosity, and our tolerance for uncertainty.

Relationships require all the things this new modern life is teaching us to avoid: discomfort, rejection, compromise, patience, awkwardness, forgiveness, being misunderstood, and trying again. In a REAL relationship, there is no swiping left.