When Mister Rogers was asked in an interview, “Who’s made a difference in your life? And why?,” this is what he answered:

“Mostly People who’ve allowed me to have some silence. I don’t think we give that gift anymore. Our society is much more interested in information than wonder. In noise rather than silence, how do we encourage reflection? I trust (my) book will do some of that. But my, this is a noisy world.”

And noisier and busier than the time of his interview, by far. We’re all “busybodies” now, and mostly with our mouths. 

As humans, we have the most unique gift: to speak. As Don Miguel Ruiz states in The Four Agreements, our word is the power we have to create. But he also points out, “The word is so powerful that one word can change a life or destroy the lives of millions of people.” 

All our social interactions typically find their expression in the form of words. And too often, instead of taking action or thinking critically, we agents of the spoken word often just talk. As parents, whatever our ‘lil ones do or say, we have something to say about it. And we say it in repeat.

When we haven’t got a clue what to do, we talk. When we think we do know what to do, we talk. When we have nothing better to do, we talk. We talk to boast, we talk to cover. We talk to provoke a reaction or just to fill the silence. But with our wide-eyed petit princes and princesses (aka children) AND SO OFTEN with our spouses too, words fail royally. Our words might not offer us the most constructive of plans. 

Just as they need play and entertainment, our wee babes need explanations, instructions and guidance from us. Words here are indispensable. But so often as it does in our spousal love language, words fall short. And offer less meaning, and less direction than our actions. 

It’s time we be on guard against our own words! So rarely do we realize how much greater a look with our eyes or a touch of our hand can affect the contact we have in our relationships. Words are our tools of communication, but so too are they our arms of warfare. When we speak to these impressionable beings (or partners), are we deciding whether we talk just to release our anger, annoyance, tension, and boredom, or whether we do so to actually help them? 

Unless we are sure our child or spouse is ready to listen, perhaps we might hold (or bite) that eager, hyper, often smug and treacherous tongue of ours. And watch our emotions. And wait. Until we’re calm enough to talk constructively. What’s the hurry anyway? Is it so hard to supplant our words with actions? Can we not stop and think rather than add more to the noise? And catch our inclinations to repeat ourselves and tell our littlies or spouses what they already know? Why exacerbate? Why exasperate? And why exhaust, more? When their behavior is not-so-nice, complete silence can make a much deeper impression than even the strongest and most eloquent of words. 

Silence is forceful. And it can be our greatest form of expressing disapproval, content or affection.

Let’s try to give through our actions. Really (silently) give to our loved ones. And help them feel they are unique, that they make our lives special by just being themselves. We can tell them with our eyes, with our arms and with fewer but truly thoughtful words something similar to what Mr. Rogers told his little friends, “There’s no person in the whole world like you. I like you just the way you are.”

Enjoy The Silence