When Mister Rogers was asked in an interview, “Who’s made a difference in your life? And why?,” this is what he answered:

“Mostly people who’ve allowed me to have some silence. I don’t think we give that gift anymore. Our society is much more interested in information than wonder. In noise rather than silence, how do we encourage reflection? I trust my book will do some of that. But my, this is a noisy world.”

And noisier and busier than the time of his interview, by far. We’re all “busybodies” now, and mostly with our mouths. 

As humans, we have the most unique gift: to speak. As Don Miguel Ruiz states in The Four Agreements, our word is the power we have to create. But he also points out, “The word is so powerful that one word can change a life or destroy the lives of millions of people.” 

All our social interactions typically find their expression in the form of words. And too often, instead of taking action or thinking critically, we agents of the spoken word often just talk. As parents and spouses, whatever our children or partners do or say, we have something to say about it. And we say it in repeat.

We talk when we have nothing better to do. We talk to boast, we talk to cover. We talk to provoke a reaction or just to fill the silence. But with our wide-eyed children–as with our spouses too–words can sometimes fail royally. So often, our words don’t offer us the most constructive of plans. 

Words of course are indispensable. But so often, words fall short. They can offer less meaning, and less direction than our actions. 

So rarely do we realize how much deeper a look with our eyes or a touch from our hand can affect our relationships. Words are our tools of communication, but so too are they our arms of warfare. When we speak to our loved ones, are we talking just to release our anger, annoyance, tension, and boredom, or doing so to actually help them? 

Unless we’re sure they’re ready to listen, perhaps we might hold (or bite) that eager, hyper, often smug and treacherous tongue of ours. And watch our emotions instead—until we calm down enough to speak constructively. What’s the hurry anyway? Is it so hard to supplant our words with actions? Can we not stop and think rather than add more to the noise? Why exacerbate, exasperate, and exhaust more? When their behavior is not-so-nice, complete silence can make a much deeper impression than even the strongest or most eloquent of words. 

Silence is forceful. It can be our greatest form of expressing disapproval, content or affection.

Let’s try to give—but through our actions. Really (silently) give to our loved ones and help them feel they’re unique, and that they make our lives special by just being themselves. We can tell them with our eyes, with our arms, and with fewer but truly thoughtful words. Like those Mr. Rogers told his little friends, “There’s no person in the whole world like you. I like you just the way you are.”