Don’t wish… DO! Don’t try… BE! Don’t think… KNOW!

An analysis of our fear of rejection
Photo Credits: Gucci Cruise, Cannes, France, 2018 © Martin Parr
May 16, 2024

DO your best, so you’ll have no regrets!… BE yourself, so you’ll have no qualms!… KNOW your heart, so you’ll forget your fears, especially a fear of rejection, including—and most importantly—from yourself. I believe it all comes down to a question of taking ownership. 

It’s not something we normally admit but fear of rejection touches us all. It’s human. Very human (unless you’re a psychopath). Whether it’s between the bedsheets, on social media, from our own brutal inner critic, or when we’re birthing creative work, we all fear rejection. We may appear cool and blasé but underneath our façade, we’re all wobbly lumps of fearful jello, desperate to feel appreciated for who we are and what we offer the world. 

In view of this common thread WE ALL FEEL BUT NEVER DARE TO ADMIT, I wish to dedicate some time to this icky fear, especially with regard to our work. 

(This post came to me when launching this website)

Let’s first acknowledge the positive side of Rejection.

With respect to our work, rejection can be a crucial way to gain feedback in order to grow and improve. We all know that most successfuls out there have faced initial rejection before achieving recognition. And quite likely they continue to face it sporadically throughout their (even successful) careers. We so deeply admire and desire success (in all the ways we define it). But fear of rejection goes hand in hand with success, with DOING. Anything we say or do—any way we act or show ourselves—is raw bait for rejection.

However powerful this fear may feel, let’s address the possibility that we might sometimes subconsciously be using it as a mere distraction from moving ahead with our work. Honestly, it’s not so hard to simply shrug it off, laugh and release. I often take myself and Life wayyyyy but wayyyy too seriously. And I often forget how easy it is to just 🤷‍♀️and 😂 and 😜.

When our work gives us a buzz and makes us feel alive, then there is no question we are in line with ourselves and should altogether give fear the 🖕. But THAT possibility of rejection, THAT possibility that we might never really make it… THAT cold horrid discomfort is actually what defines our existence, in my opinion. Only Time will tell if we get it right or we get it wrong. But not to others. TO OURSELVES.

My impression is that most of us don’t know how we really are (and more often than not we think we are less). But we should be the only ones to genuinely assess how well we are really doing. And Life, I believe, will take off for us when we authentically choose for it to. 

The act of resisting or concentrating on a specific fear grants it life. The more we resist, the more it persists. The more we think about and feel it, the more we make it real. But if we can look Fear right in the eye, see right through it—see what’s behind it, understand what’s at its core—and really see the truth of it, WITHOUT RUNNING TERRIFIED FROM IT, the truth shall then set us free, my Darling Marathoners.

Why not go first to our highest thought about ourselves, don’t you say? My favorite phrase: WHY NOT?!?!

And let’s not forget that fear gives us an opportunity to challenge our initial perception/s behind it, and to grow through wisdom. A Higher Intelligence will do its thing, IF WE LET IT. When we don’t TRUST in our process, the Universe can’t support us the same way. That’s why when our fears creep up, we need to remember to LET GO. LET LIFE. TRUST. CREATE. And, JUST BE, CONTENTEDLY WITH WHO WE REALLY ARE. The rest is up to those airy spirits and energies up there and the eternally enigmatic mystery of the Universe. 

So now that we know all this… 

DO IT!… BE IT!… KNOW IT! 

We’re all uniquely marvelous. Why not get ourselves out of the clutches of our own self-induced fears, and give ourselves permission to invent and reinvent ourselves, unleashed and free. 🦋 

We’ve been letting others’ opinions and our fears of rejection affect us for as long as we can remember. Why not try approving of ourselves for a change and see what happens?

 

And on that note, I leave you with George Michael’s, Freedom:

There’s something
Deep inside of me
There’s someone
Else I’ve got to be

Take back your
Picture in a frame
Take back your
Singing in the rain
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes
Do not make the man

All we have to do now
Is take these lies and
Make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don’t belong to you
And you don’t
Belong to me yeah, yeah

Freedom
Freedom
Freedom

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