Mind Tools For The Lover

Power tools of wisdom I’ve picked up from the wise along the way
Photo Credits: The Art of Craftsmanship by Tim Walker
May 30, 2024
  • If two people become too much alike, then one becomes unnecessary.
  • There is a benefit in irritating the hell out of each other. It is a catalyst to getting better.
  • Are you airing out your past? 
  • Ask what’s it worth to you to maintain the relationship.
  • Talk to the other as if you’d just met them. Who is this person today? Start the day fresh.
  • Marriage is two people, each struggling to come to terms with their own identity, while at the same time scrambling to come to terms with the other’s identity. 
  • Do you wanna be right, or do you wanna be really right (and happy)?
  • We might want to find out what is wrong and at the crux of the other’s troubles, but we don’t necessarily need to find it out and fix it with them. What the other needs to know is that we are there for them and that they are heard. 
  • Just as with kids, overtalking doesn’t work. 
  • What is irrational to one may be rational to another.
  • Highly intelligent people think they can skip steps. It’s the intellectual fallacy. Intellectualism is pedanticism. “I know what is right.” True intelligence, though, is about asking. Intuition goes further. Intuition–together with true intelligence–is about the ability to bend
  • When in doubt, do nothing. 
  • The first cause of conflict is self-centeredness.
  • It’s always more rewarding to resolve a conflict than to dissolve a relationship.
  • Speak TACTFULLY.
  • You can’t be persuasive when you are abrasive. 
  • You never get your point across when you are cross. 
  • Attack the issue, not each other. 
  • It’s ok to disagree without being disagreeable, to have unity without uniformity, and to walk hand in hand without seeing eye to eye. 
  • Coupledom is the union of two great forgivers.
  • Do not try to manage a relationship. The point of relationships is inclusion, not management. 


Don’t tool around with Love. And don’t lay down your tools. 


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