Nature abhors a vacuum, so it’s been said. According to the saying, She (Nature) wants everything and everyone to be in action, expecting us to use the tools She’s given us. But fundamentally, Her point is, She won’t let us get too smug, as we’ve got to keep evolving. 

The saying comes from ancient Greek philosophy, particularly the ideas of Aristotle who noticed that in Nature, empty spaces (or “vacuums”) tend to be filled by surrounding matter. But interestingly, the phrase has since been used metaphorically to suggest that whenever there is an absence or void, something will inevitably rush in to fill it.

Many things can and will fill our empty spaces: relationship and health and pretty much all types of hooplas (climate, political and geo-political). I woke up this morning with news of another terrorist attack, a call from family with unfortunate news, a perplexingly swollen thumb, my eye still twitching from a draining experience, a leak in the library, tensions thick with husbo, and my daughter moaning with a tummy ache. For cryin’ out loud, I thought, will Nature/Universe ever give us a break!?!? 

No. She hates vacuums.

And so, I’ve got it. A little something, for you, for me, living this eternal classroom —you know, to quell this tiresome resentment against Her cruel whims and reconcile with it all, once and for all.

First, let’s analyze what the actual point is in pouting or being depressed and unhappy? Of reacting and huffing-puffing if things don’t go our way? Life has a way of making us realize we can’t control certain things or people (except ourselves). So if something is impossible to change or remedy, if we find it completely impossible to have our deep wishes fulfilled, what—I ask—is the use to get upset? Can’t we realize how being unhappy about something is NOT going to help? Well, my surly sulky friends, I’ve got this for you. A way—THE WAY— to remedy anything at all:

Patient acceptance

Yes, I say this as your fiercely passionate, cortisol-ready, Lebanese-Italian-German-Irish mutt. It hit me like a ton of bricks the other day. I have been codependent. Boundaryless. Pumped and plumped of righteous grandiosity. And so, I tell you, if I can do patient acceptance, anyone can. But I don’t mean passivity or laziness. Au—Oh!—contraire. This is you using your brain in an active process of acknowledging reality and choosing how to respond thoughtfully. This kind of acceptance requires mental effort—LOTS OF IT—where we consciously decide not to waste energy on futile resistance. And not let our emotions sabotage our happiness. 

No, itn’t easy. We want to resist so much. Because, well, we feel so undeserving of Nature’s lack of mercy (always too much, always too soon).

Nature expects us to engage with the world, to act with purpose, to use what we’ve been given. We‘re to identify what we cannot change, and focus our energies where we can make a difference. Acceptance is not a sign of laziness, it’s engaging with reality without getting bogged down by the useless sabotaging of unproductive emotional responses (that is, except for its entertainment and adrenaline value). This is what Nature expects of us. And She will do everything in Her power to make us master. 

Don’t (at least try not to) be reactive and stuck in the force of your emotional habits. Once we realize we’ve been depending (quite desperately) on things going a certain way (OUR WAY) and people acting a certain way (OUR WAY) with us, we can ask whether we want to continue depending. It’s a given that things might and often do not go our way. But that’s not enough reason to boo-hoo and wade in unhappiness. The power of thought is the only thing over which any of us has full control. And when we finally recognize this—that Nature abhors a vacuum—let go of our dependency and control, we make way for new and better possibilities, and free ourselves. And finally succumb to Nature, on Her terms.

“I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.” —Louise Hay