We all pompously think we know what is best for us as far as choosing the right companion and our close relationships. Normally we think the people we surround ourselves with should be like us. We look for commonalities in values, lifestyle, mentality, and “chemistry.” But no matter how close the similarities may be in those relationships we seek, there is something we might subconsciously look for and NEED even more. We need our beloveds to find us difficult, perplexing, and different than themselves, and vice versa. Essentially, we need to be misunderstood to some degree, or relationship would be such a bore!

(WOULD DEFINITELY NOT WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD OF JUST NICOLES😲)

Something we need to look for in a mate or a friend is a certain minor (not fundamental) degree of misunderstanding of how we are and why we act in certain ways sometimes. If our companion and everyone around us never misunderstood us (because they’d behave and think just the same) and if they did everything exactly how we would, they’d just be transmitters of our ideas and we’d get immediately bored with that. It wouldn’t last. But when we interact or live with someone who sometimes misunderstands us and whom we, too, sometimes misunderstand, the ideas in our head do more than just transmit. They eventually transmute and transform, creating a much more engaging dynamic for us.

What would be more entertaining and intriguing, to watch a documentary on yourself or a dramatic saga on Netflix?

Think of a relationship as a sort of ride-sharing uber vehicle, meaning it serves as a means. Only we don’t know all the different destinations, routes and detours. You may have your preferences—and proudly tout them— but they may change, thanks to different opinions, experiences and examples along the way?

If we’re to be truly honest with ourselves, we don’t actually really want to stay the same, simple, singular, unadulterated versions of our being for our entire lives. The glory of life lies within discovering and living all the hidden complex, idiosyncratic and deeper facets of our and all of humanity’s being. We don’t need to drown our differences out with an avalanche of insecurity and waste all those opportunities to transmute and be dependently fantastic.

“Just because you are, doesn’t mean you have to!” -Maya Angelou

Take just about everything—even hated things—as inspiration and blend it all together in the Mix-Master of your mind.