What would two lovers be without hate🤬. Love is not always fun and games; It most definitely is not all giggles, hand-holding, and hot passionate whoopee. The feuds, the hostility, the arms of mass destruction… Oh, it’s coming around again. What we don’t realize is that these conflicts are usually not alarming signs of a problem. If they were a problem, then it wouldn’t be afflicting every couple.
Essentially, we need conflict. We might subconsciously even instigate it as it is crucial to building trust. Conflict is that wonderful phenomenon that demonstrates whose love is or isn’t unconditional. It inflicts us with pain and leaves us with scars, but ironically conflict can build greater intimacy.
If you’re anything like me, you might have a tendency to prolong the period in which you “punish” the other, penetrating them with the death stare or pretending they don’t exist. If you’re anything like hubbo Javi, you might pretend as if nothing happened and crack lame “jokes” and leave out the desperately needed “sorry,” as if discrediting my feelings. But these are just patterns we’ve become accustomed to. And old patterns usually die hard. But not if we don’t want them to. Is it really that difficult to stop perpetuating the patterns that don’t serve us? Can we make coupledom easier, and the tensions less habitual, and shorter?
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