What are we waiting for? Why do we reserve only special moments or special treats to give us pleasure? Pleasure’s not just about fleeting moments of joy but something we can have anytime and constantly. Here are 5 pleasure principles to help us un-practice the practices that keep us from experiencing lasting pleasure. Ready for it? Brace or unbrace yourself…
And remember: UNPRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
It’s a miracle to be alive—something we forget all too easily. We forget something else too. We forget that being alive means that everything in our lives—as well as ourselves—is impermanent. Impermanence means change—constant transformation. We forget that what we consider beautiful is beautiful because of the fragility of its beauty or strength. The fact that a thing’s power is ephemeral is actually what makes it so beautiful, intriguing and precious. Like a child’s innocence, a rainbow, a hearty laugh, or the glow of youthful skin.
We’re always active—doing, thinking, striving, struggling. My husband sleeps with earphones. I feel guilty if I’m not always doing something productive. And so I ask, why do we (subconsciously) equate stopping with death (👏 Alanis Morisette’s Thank You). The moment we STOP is the moment we become grateful: for being able to do the things we do in the first place—and for having the wisdom to also stop.
We’re not free if we’re always giving turns to something on our minds. We’re not free when we’re caught up in our worries, our laments, our insecurities, our judgements, or when our thoughts are in the future or in the past. We forget that, often, so much of our fears and anxieties come from ideas we’ve created in our heads. But for the sadness and anger that is real and valid, we forget there is a simple way to free it away: CRY. Crying flushes suffering right the heck out of us, literally. Crying itself doesn’t give us freedom but it frees up our ability to think clearly, to see things differently, and to reach a more serene state of mind. As for myself I reap quite a bit of pleasure from a good unrestrained cathartic wail.
We regard suffering as something we don’t want in our or our loved ones’ lives. But suffering is a gift. It’s a gateway to happiness. Only when we have suffered can we fully understand another person and our common humanity, and fully develop compassion. It’s only with understanding and compassion that we can truly connect with and relate to others. And without the ability to relate to others, we’re doomed to live a superficial, lonely and quite un-pleasurable life.
Many call it “mindfulness,” or the idea of being in the moment. But how can we live in the moment, if we’re tied up in our “what ifs” and “could’ves” and “should’ves” and “have tos” and “cannots”? Why is it so hard to take life as it comes?
We’ve made habits that are constraining our minds. So let’s un-practice them. To live more fully.
Why are we waiting to be happy? What are we waiting for?
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