Why, AGAIN, does it come as a surprise when our significant other acts like a (fill in profane word you use when they misbehave)??? We’ve been together for how long already? And how many times have they acted like this? It really should come as no surprise this time around. So why does it bother us every single time? Let’s for a moment consider that the very thing that makes us react might possibly be our own not-so-pleasant behavior being reflected back to us by our partners. They might actually just be mirroring our disowned parts. I truly resent when my husband acts cocky and superior towards me, but isn’t that how I speak to him when I am disapproving? Am I also not the most snooty and superior of them all when it comes to so many things? I plead “Guilty” 😳.

My heart softens (only slightly) towards Mr. Vainglory once I’m reminded that he’s always had this side to him, and that I too (in my own way) can be just the same. Yes, the mirror effect serves as a kind of glue and nudge to us both to work on these aspects of ourselves.

On that note, how far do we want to keep perpetuating our same behavioral patterns and dynamics that are not working for us? Nothing changes, if you change nothing. How about trying something new and refreshing as heck for the both of you?! LEAD by example, and BE the example, of how you’d like the other and (let’s be honest) your ideal self to be. A respected leader earns attention and power by example, never by force.

I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could’ve been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself then make a change

-Michael Jackson, Man in the Mirror