We are living in a moment where the idea of female power feels visible (and newly contested). We’ve started to see glimpses of a power shift as more women take leadership roles, and men embrace a more collaborative approach. But while modern times tell us that one gender is not superior to the other—and that both should be recognized as having unique strengths especially when combined—many of us may still struggle with this ”tango.”

In 1972, Gloria Steinem famously described what she called the “gynocratic age”–a mythic period of harmony and abundance occurring 5,000 years ago, where men’s and women’s roles coexisted in balance. And “the feminine” was at the 💗 of spiritual and social life because of the mystery of childbirth… until, that is, systems of male control slowly flipped the social order. 

Since then, the “tango” between the sexes has been shaped by power dynamics and social expectations. And often, themes of sex and gender circle back to the female being defined by her role to give birth and to nurture.

Merlin Stone’s “When God Was a Woman” also tells of a matriarchal utopia usurped by patriarchy. And though it offers an attempt to explain the origins of sexism, this account—along with myths like Ms. Steinem’s—hold key psychological and spiritual insight. 

A story need not be factual to be powerful. 

Pour me another glass, and let’s get in deep, darlings.

An example. There are no contemporary written histories of the Buddha, only narratives crafted to serve the myth surrounding the genesis of Buddhism. And yet an entire religion has been built around this myth (!!). 

By definition, a myth is a parable, one that leads the mind to deeper truths. It’s a finger pointing to the skies… an indication, a reverence, a symbol suggesting more than it explicitly reveals.

Which brings us back to “gynocratic.” Yes, women could rise and call for a battle against the patriarchy. After all, it has been nearly 5,000 years. They could…. but a battle would be missing the point entirely. The point in this macrocosmic “battle of the sexes” (and microcosmic matrimonial “war of the roses”) lies in something else.

If we strip away the drama, the ideology, the history… what this really comes down to is how we behave in intimate relationships. To become powerful, masterful and a true leader, we need not fight, suppress, or bully an “opponent” to become it. Anyone encountering aggression could resent the aggressor and try to one-up, control, punish, and make them feel weaker. We may think since the other is raising their voice, we should raise oure, and LOUDER. But is this really a demonstration of real power? 

REAL POWER DOESN’T NEED TO CONTROL

There’s a kind of control superior to the rest. Not a control that calculates and manipulates, but one that comes naturally from self-witnessing and self-knowledge. It’s the kind of control that is so natural, so calm, so dignified and so confident, that there is no need to control. It turns out real control, real power, real richness within, happen through self-love, self-respect, and self-knowing… when we KNOW OUR TRUTH. It’s the most powerful because it can’t be taken away.

The gender power struggle could go on. But that’s just plain useless. Because when we act with (real) understanding, we stop hurting others and ourselves. And we raise our power (and simply become watchers, watching without judgment or reaction). 

So often, it’s not about “doing,” but about “being.” 

When we act from a sense of calm, reason, and love, positive actions naturally sprout from these things—with no deliberate action needed. And strength, stability and freedom start seeking ways to express themselves. When we don’t allow (or depend on) others’ reactions to take power over us, we retain our inner power and lead through example. 

So let’s let the gynocratic age be our guiding myth. Just as Buddhism is rooted in a mythic story of the Buddha, the idea of gynocracy can serve as a fashionable Prada lens through which to reflect on our past and move through the now and into the future. Lets not drag something so beautiful and sacred as our nurturing nature into muddy-sticky-heavy humanity-driven conflict. Let’s not hold up arms of destruction, for now we hold a key to inspire new social, political and philosophical perspectives. 

It all starts with setting an example. Of real power, on a very microcosmic, individual level.